Breathing is one of the most essential parts of life, and yet because we do it automatically, most of the time we don’t think about it at all- but the way that we breathe can have a huge impact on our nervous system and well-being. When we are scared or angry, we breathe quickly with short inhales and exhales. When we sleep, we breathe slowly and deeply. I’ve noticed that when I’m anxious, I hardly breathe at all, leaving me lightheaded and dizzy, or that when I panic, I hyperventalate. Learning how to be mindful of our breath and how it connects with the body can help us to better understand ourselves and control the way we respond to our surroundings. It is a powerful tool that can be used to change our emotional state, release tension and trauma in the body, and even boost the immune system.

Here’s six breathing techniques I use and love!

Box breathing

Box breathing is simple grounding practice. This is what I use the most during a busy day when I just need to take a second to come back to myself. The idea is to inhale, hold the breath, and exhale each for the same amount of time. I like to do 4 seconds, but you can do whatever is comfortable to you!

How to: Inhale 4 seconds, Hold 4 seconds, Exhale 4 seconds

Repeat

The 4-7-8 method

Also known as meditative breathing, this method will help to slow down your heart rate and reduce stress levels. I like to do this one laying down before bed.

How to: Inhale 4 seconds, Hold 7 seconds, Exhale 8 seconds

Repeat

During that long exhale, I like to imagine all of the tension in my body leaving with the breath.

Breath counting

This technique is commonly used for anxiety and focusing the brain away from racing thoughts.

How to: First take a couple of big, deep breaths. Get some oxygen back into your blood.Then, breathing normally, begin counting each exhale.

When you reach 5, start again at 1

Repeat as many rounds of 5 as you like

Belly breathing

This is how babies breathe! Breathing this way activates the diaphragm and massages the abdominal organs. It’s a great way to calm anxiety or prepare you for sleep.

How to: Sitting or lying down, put one hand on your chest and the other on your stomach.

Take a deep breath through your nose, pushing the air down into your abdomen so that your stomach expands instead of your chest. The hand on your chest should stay still while the one on your stomach rises.

Exhale slowly through your mouth and repeat at your own pace

Ujjayi pranayama breath (or ocean breathing)

Pranayama is a term used in yoga which basically means ‘breath control’. Ujjayi is a technique that’s often meant to be used throughout an entire yoga practice to help maintain rhythm and sync the movement of the body with the breath.

How to: Inhale through the nose. Exhale through the mouth as though you are trying to fog a mirror or window. You can even hold your palm up to feel the warm air as you exhale to help imagine this.

Notice how breathing this way feels in your throat and contracts the muscles at the back of the throat.

Now close your mouth, continuing to breath this way through slow, controlled exhales out the nose.

Breathing like this should sound similar to the rolling tide of the ocean.

Breathing into where it hurts

I’ve saved my favorite for last. This type of breathwork is great for those with chronic pain or for releasing tension/trauma in the body. I’ve found it to be helpful for easing headaches as well.

How to: Laying down or sitting in a comfortable, relaxed position, close your eyes and think about the places in your body that hurt or that you are holding tension. Do a little body scan starting at your toes and moving up slowly to your head.

Are there parts of your body that are sore? Are your hands balled into fists? Are you clenching your jaw?  Most people hold tension in the upper back, neck, jaw, and face. Relax.

Once you’ve found the places that hurt, take deep breaths and imagine each breath filling that place with healing fresh air and light.

If you like, think of a color that represents healing to you (I usually use a forest green or candle-light orange). Imagine that the breaths you are taking are that color, and that each one is cleansing and healing your body like salve to a burn. This practice can be pretty intense and emotional if you sit with it for a while, but your body will thank you for it in the long run.

Final thoughts

If you’re interested in breathwork and yoga, check out Yoga with Adriene. (https://www.youtube.com/c/yogawithadriene) I love her videos! She even has a 30 day yoga journey on breath and connecting with the body.

Paying more attention to the way I breathe and doing practices like these has helped me a lot in understanding where I hold stress in my body and learning to let it go. It’s also helped me get to sleep faster and feel more at home in my body.

Have you tried breathwork?

The time change was this weekend, and I know I'm not alone in my hatred for it. The sun going down at 5 pm always comes as a rude awakening to the fact that winter is coming, and a reminder of how short its days are.

Seasonal Affective Disorder is something I really struggle with as winter wears on- although I often don't realize it's affected me so much until I walk out into the sun one warm spring day and suddenly feel as though I've woken up from a trance. This year I'm trying to be more preemptive about my preparation for the coldest and darkest time of the year to try and minimize some of the struggles I've had in the past, such as sleeping half the day (leading to insomnia at night), canceling plans, giving up on goals, and just a general depressed mood.

I wanted to share some tips that I'll be doing my best to follow this season to help get me through! So without further ado, here are five things you can do to fight the S.A.D. and get ready for the coming months.

Seasonal deep cleaning & decorating

Refresh your space! With every changing of the seasons, I like to do a bit of deep cleaning to clear out old, stale energy and make the house feel alive again. I've found it does wonders for my psyche. And, being this time of year, it's also a great time to decorate for the holidays- or at least make your home feel cozy with candles and warm blankets.

Make a winter selfcare list

Selfcare and well-being rituals are more important than ever in winter. Write a list of things you can do that make you happy and will feed your soul when you're feeling down. I've put together a list for myself:

• Get sunshine and time outside - or get a sunlamp
• Put on ASMR videos like a cozy fireplace, pretty snowfall, a sunny meadow, or something tropical
• Drink tea and curl up with a book or movie
• Journal and practice gratitude
• Water or repot houseplants
• Meditate
• Take a hot shower with a scented shower steamer
• Bake something
• Do yoga
• Make a music playlist

It's also a good idea to think about medications and vitamins you can take to keep yourself healthy and happy. Consider taking vitamin D to make up for the lost sunlight, or vitamin C to ward off a cold.

Set some simple goals

Think of some simple, achievable goals that you want to meet this season. Is there an ongoing creative project you want to work on, or perhaps something new you want to try? Most of us end up spending a lot more time indoors during winter than we do in summer, so find things you can do to keep you busy and motivated. My goals for the next few months are to get back to work writing on one of my novels that I abandoned over the summer, try some clay sculpting, and work out more regularly! This way I have one project that keeps my brain busy, one that keeps my hands busy, and one that keeps me healthy. Here are some other goal ideas to inspire you:

• Spend time planning and making healthy meals
• Remodel or repaint your house
• Start a 30-day yoga or workout plan
• Have a list of books you want to read
• Learn a new creative craft like painting, knitting, or learning an instrument
• Start a puzzle

Establish a routine

Having a routine ties right into those self-care plans and goals you just set, and making sure you can achieve them. I know if I don't have a routine and I'm feeling sad, I just end up curled up in bed all the time. Find a gentle routine that flows and works for you in the colder months. Maybe that means waking up with the sun to get a quick workout in before work, or meal planning once a week, or journaling before bed. If there are new habits you want to make, find places in your day where they can naturally be added in. Be committed to your routine, but also give yourself grace for the days that don't go perfectly.

Make things to look forward to

Set up get-togethers or game nights with friends and family, come up with some rewards for yourself for when you meet your goals, go skiing, plan a trip somewhere warm, or book a spa day. I know that come about February, I need that- so it's good to plan ahead. Having things to look forward to will help propel you through the dreary months, and before you know it the days will grow longer again.

Last month I read the book Atomic Habits, by James Clear. It had been on my reading list for a long time but kept getting pushed back as I added other books and made excuses, but I finally just bought the book, put my others on hold, and decided to read it.

I wish I had done so sooner.

That said, it was such a well-timed read. There comes a point where you finally just get sick of your own shit and decide to start improving your life and chasing after your goals- for real. My life has always felt like one failed new goal after another, but I have found that this book is the roadmap to have with you as you start that journey toward finding real results and creating consistent habits.

There’s SO much good stuff covered in this book. It touches on the psychology of habits, step-by-step methods for breaking and building habits, how to make micro changes to your systems for big end results, procrastination, accountability… But one of the first things that Clear covers and that especially stood out to me is how our habits shape our identity- and vice versa. This post talks about that idea, and how to implement it in your life!

Outcome-based vs Identity-based Habits

In Atomic Habits, Clear tells us there are three layers of behavior change:

1. Identity
2. Process
3. Outcomes
   

So many of us (myself included) have always tried to change our habits by focusing on what we want to achieve. Our end goal. I want to write a book. I want to be healthier. I want to read more. These are outcome-based habits, and when we approach our goals this way, we are doing it backwards. We are trying to change our processes based on the result we want without changing what we believe about ourselves. We are fighting against who we, even subconsciously, believe we are.

Where we need to begin is with our identity. We need to start by focusing on the person we want to become, and change our process from there. I am a writer, I am working on a book. I am making healthy choices because I am a healthy person. I am someone who reads. You are not the type of person who wants this. You are the type of person who is this.

Clear gives an amazing example in the book that I really loved:

“Imagine two people resisting a cigarette. When offered a smoke, the first person says, “No thanks. I’m trying to quit.” It sounds like a reasonable response, but this person still believes they are a smoker who is trying to be something else. They are hoping their behavior will change while carrying around the same beliefs.

The second person declines saying, “No thanks. I’m not a smoker.” It’s a small difference, but this statement signals a shift in identity. Smoking was a part of their former life, not their current one. They no longer identify as someone who smokes.”

It’s hard to change habits if you don’t first change the underlying beliefs about who you are. Beliefs will drive your actions.

Stop listening to your limiting beliefs

I have a whole post on limiting beliefs which you can find here. In short, limiting beliefs are things like:

• “I can’t lose weight”
• “I’m not good at this thing”
• “I’m always late”
• “I can’t make money doing what I love”
• “The things I want aren’t worth trying to pursue, I always fail”
  

If you believe you will always fail, that you can’t lose weight, that you’re not good at something, you are never going to make a true effort. You will fulfill your own prophecy. You will resist certain actions because you don’t believe that is who you are. If you want to change who you are and accomplish your goals, you’ve got to let these limiting beliefs go.

Have pride in who you are becoming

The more pride you have in yourself in a certain area of life, the more likely you will be to show up and put effort into that area. Motivation only goes so far. It may get you started, but long-term changes are going to come from setting up good habits and taking pride in the person those habits are making you out to be. This is about celebrating small wins and proving to yourself what is possible with each step. Take note of your successes. This is a gradual journey, and often the biggest outcomes are delayed, so don’t forget to find beauty in the process. Take pictures of the healthy meals you make, of the things you create. Find ways to reward yourself when you meet a goal.

You are not going to be perfect all of the time and that shouldn’t be your goal, but change matters, the process is important. Embrace it.

Your identity change is your North Star

Good habits have the power to change what you believe about yourself, and what you believe about yourself has the power to change your habits. The road to becoming the best version of yourself may mean editing and expanding your beliefs about yourself as you go, but keep that image of who you are at the forefront of your mind, and before you know it you’ll start showing up as that person.

I highly recommend the book Atomic Habits to anyone who’s struggled to accomplish goals in the past. It has left me feeling empowered and capable, and I’m sure I’ll be implementing a lot of its other concepts in future posts!

Last week I spent a few days in San Francisco while my husband was working a conference there, and though I had a wonderful time, the trip reminded me of how fast-paced and chaotic life can be. From rushing to get packed and get the house cleaned before leaving, to worrying about getting to the airport on time, to navigating unfamiliar public transit and walking through the bustling, wild heart of downtown San Fran to find the hotel- and then even in the hotel to be constantly reminded of the busy world outside by the shouts and dinging of the trollies down bellow… well, it was definitely a reminder that I would not enjoy living downtown in such a densely compact city.

My time there made me consider the people who do live in and enjoy those places, and where they find their peace. Where all of us find our peace. I spent one day at the beach and it was so obvious to me how much different I felt listening to the waves, slowing down and journaling, soaking up the sun and nature in one of its purest forms. The world is full of loud, fast-paced living: concerts, bars, travel, work, the constant pull of social media- and there’s nothing inherently wrong with these things. In healthy amounts, we often thrive on them. But we all also need time (some of us more time than others) to slow down and reconnect. I find I feel the most creative, recharged, and grounded when I practice this by spending regular time in nature, away from external chaos.

Living in Salt Lake City with an entire mountain range only minutes from my home, I'm thankful that time in nature is easily accessible to me and I try to get up there or to a local park with my dog at least once a week. But even if you don’t live next to the mountains or the beach, there are still plenty of ways to get outside!

Here are 5 ideas on how you can reconnect with nature and slow down despite a crazy and fast-paced world.

Meaningful time outside

Make a point of spending time outside, and be mindful about it. Spend some time sound bathing in nature, listening to the birds, the leaves, the water. Take your lunch break outside to get some fresh air. If you like to paint or write or make art, bring it out on your patio- nature always seems to give me a creative boost and I highly recommend it.

Here are some other soul-nourishing things to do outside:

• Read a book
• Meditate
• Walk/run/hike
• Journal
• Have a picnic
• Start a garden
  

Go barefoot (also known as “earthing”)

This was a trend for a while (perhaps it still is?), and there’s actually some science behind it. I’ve seen several articles claiming earthing leads to better sleep, healthier blood pressure, higher immunity levels, and less stress. It’s also been shown to change the electrical activity in the brain. Mother Earth has her own natural charge and energy, and we do better when we are connected to it. The best way to do this is bare contact with the earth. Go walk barefoot. Go lay in a field. Go hug some trees. You’ll feel better.

Grow something inside

Bring nature inside to you with houseplants or growing herbs in your windowsill. This is great especially during winter. Sticking my hands in the soil and doing some repotting provides that earth connection without having to go out in the cold.

I love houseplants and will be doing a post soon on easy houseplants for cleaner air- join the email list to make sure you don’t miss it!

Visit plant stores

The outdoors is not always easily accessible to everyone, and not everyone has the time, skills, or space in their home for growing things. But thankfully plant stores are accessible to everyone, just about anywhere. Local greenhouses are my favorite, otherwise a stroll through the plant section at Lowes will do.

Forage or pick your own food

If you live somewhere with local produce like apple orchards or strawberry fields, see if there are any U-pick farms nearby! This is on my list of things I’d like to do next year, as well as mushroom foraging. Picking your own food is a great way to spend time outside while learning a better understanding and appreciation for the food you’re eating. Plus, you get some delicious, fresh food without having to garden it yourself. If you’re foraging in the wild make sure to do your research and know exactly what you’re looking for... poisoning yourself would really kill the vibe. Better yet, go with an experienced forager!

I hope these ideas inspired you and you’ll take some time this week to reconnect with nature!

I love to journal. It’s one of the few habits I’ve consistently stuck with for the past two years and it has truly become a lifeline I rely on to keep track of where I’m at, let go of what I’m feeling, and also to get down creative ideas in a space where I don’t feel like I have to be perfect. My journal gets to see all the messy parts of me. Journaling has also been helpful because I can look back on issues or times in my life when I was overwhelmed and anxious about something and know how it ends- know that in the end, everything worked out. It helps me to see the bigger picture in my life. The whole process is so cathartic.

Journaling is a great way to set your intentions at the beginning of the day or to reflect and clear your mind at the end of the day or before a creative task. It’s also a great way to track your progress so you can come back later and see what you were feeling, how much you’ve grown, or the things you still struggle with. It’s an important part of the self-growth process and can help you overcome mental blocks and limiting beliefs. When you journal consistently you are not only honoring a positive creative habit but also investing in yourself- reconnecting with yourself. Not to mention that there are few things as satisfying as making it to the end of a complete journal!

Here are some general prompts as well as daily, weekly, and monthly reflections to incorporate into your journaling journey.

General prompts:

• I am grateful for…
• I am proud of myself for…
• I want to worry less about…
• Things I want to feel daily…
• What are my most recurring negative thoughts?
• I can be kinder to myself by…
• What are some things I love about my life right now? How did they come to be?
• Something I would like to do better at is…
• My biggest dreams for the future are…
• How can I improve/inspire the world around me?
  

Daily reflections:

• The best part of today was…
• The worst or hardest part of today was…
• Something I want to let go of today is…
• What did I do today to honor my passions/goals?
• Things I want for tomorrow…  
  

Weekly reflections:

• This week I am thankful for…
• Something that helped me towards my goals this week…
• Something that held me back from my goals this week…
• Better habits to work on next week…
• Feelings I welcome next week…
  

Monthly reflections:

• My biggest challenge this month was…
• I am proud of myself for…
• Things to let go of…
• Goals for next month…
• Feelings/experiences I welcome next month…

Positive affirmations! I started incorporating these in my life about two years ago, and recently have been focusing more on them again to help me reach some of my goals like writing consistently, being kinder to myself and others, practicing gratitude, and feeling confident about myself and my abilities.

Affirmations are a great way to change and direct your mindset. You can not control everything in your life, but you can control your thoughts. Being intentional about the things you are telling yourself about who you are, what you can accomplish, and what your place is in the world is important. Affirmations play a big part in helping you align yourself with the kind of person you want to be. They are also a great way to change and replace any limiting beliefs you have about yourself.

How to practice positive affirmations

I love practicing positive affirmations in the morning, and I will probably do a separate post soon specifically on morning affirmations. I like to find podcasts or other audio (check Youtube or Spotify) of affirmations to repeat after each one while I’m getting ready or driving to work.

Another great thing you can do is write down affirmations you find (or come up with yourself!) and then read them out loud regularly, especially when you are feeling down, frustrated, or otherwise out of alignment with yourself and who you want to be. I like to sit down once a week and write new affirmations that I feel are relevant in my journal.

Either way, speaking your positive affirmations aloud is one of the best ways to reinforce them in your mind, and I highly recommend it!

Positive affirmations for insecurity and self-doubt

1. I rise above my insecurities
2. I am enough just as I am
3. I am lovable and wanted
4. I am a friend to myself
5. I am worthy of the compliments I receive
6. My body is a beautiful home
7. I am strong and can do hard things
8. I am worthy of my desires
9. It is safe for me to be my authentic self
10. I release all doubts and insecurities about myself
    

Positive affirmations for acceptance and letting go

1. I let go of the things I cannot control and focus my energy on the things I can
2. My past does not define me
3. It is safe for me to let go of what no longer serves me
4. I have everything I need to be happy right now
5. I replace negative and irrational thoughts with loving and realistic thoughts
   

Positive affirmations for growth and success

1. I am creating the life of my dreams
2. I welcome new opportunities and energies into my life
3. I am ready to succeed
4. I am proud of how far I’ve come
5. My goals and dreams matter
6. I am capable of achieving my goals
7. I always get what I need when I need it
8. I create my success and am energized by my passion
9. The possibilities in my life are endless, just as the universe is endless
10. My talents are worth being paid for
    

Positive affirmations for social confidence

1. I am kind to myself and others
2. I am unaffected by the judgment of others
3. I am worthy of meaningful friendships
4. I am not in competition with anyone
5. The more I value myself and others, the more my friends value me
6. I can let go of toxic relationships
7. I allow myself and those around me to be imperfect
8. The friends I need will come into my life when I need them
9. I am thankful for the people around me
10. I know my worth and remind others of theirs
    

Positive affirmations for calm and peace

1. I am in charge of my energy
2. I respond to my anxiety with love and compassion
3. I exhale tension and worry, I inhale peace and strength
4. I choose to feel calm and grounded
5. I am healing more every day

Lately, I’ve been doing a lot of work on limiting beliefs and it has seriously changed the way I see myself, the people around me, and the things I feel I can accomplish. I’ve come to realize that this is a very powerful and important concept when it comes to growth and success!

What are limiting beliefs?

Limiting beliefs are negative beliefs that function as mental barriers and hold you back from achievement. These beliefs can be about yourself, other people, the world, or life in general. Sometimes you may not even realize that limiting beliefs are the problem keeping you from reaching your goals or feeling good about your life. Until recently, I sure didn’t. These beliefs are often so deeply held that they have become a part of how we function and we don’t even realize what’s truly going on below the surface.

Limiting beliefs can be difficult to discover, work through, and change- but it’s completely worth your time. The work I’ve been doing on my own limiting beliefs and inner self has left me feeling so much more positive, inspired, and confident! It feels good to discover where those thoughts are coming from, realize they are not serving you, and replace them. Here’s how you can start…

Finding your limiting beliefs

First, you’re going to have to identify those limiting beliefs. This takes a lot of deep digging into your inner self. Think about your dreams for your life, things you struggle with, or the type of person you wish you were. What is stopping you from being that person? Spend some time journaling or talking to a therapist or someone you trust to help you find these mental blocks. Often they’ll look something like “I can’t…”, or “I’m not…”, or “I should…”.

• I can't make money doing what I love.
• I need to be different than I am for others to like me.
• I can't do this thing if someone doesn't approve.
• The things I want don’t matter or aren’t worth pursuing.
• I should be better at this / Someone else can do this better than me, so why bother?
• I can’t be vulnerable with anyone.
• I can’t lose weight.
• I’m not good at relationships.
• I can’t ever keep my house clean.

These are only a few examples of the MANY beliefs we often embrace. Your beliefs might even be something very specific and unique to your past and who you are.

Here’s an example…

Let’s say your belief is that you have a bad spending habit, that you always buy things you don’t need or don’t have money for, and that you don’t know how to handle money. If you are telling yourself “I should stop spending money on things I don’t need but I'm so bad with money”, you are doing more harm than good. You are solidifying the belief that you spend money badly more than you are helping yourself stop that action.

Instead, approach the situation with love and compassion for yourself. Why are you spending money on things you don’t need? Does it give you a feeling of control in your life? Was there a time in your life when you weren’t allowed to buy fun things? Find where the struggle originates from and work from there.

Why do we hold on to limiting beliefs?

Limiting beliefs often stem from our past traumas, which is what can make them so difficult to navigate. We formed these beliefs either to protect ourselves from hurt or because through our trauma we were convinced of a false story about who we are and what we are capable of. The good news is, you have the power to let go of your grip on the past and rewrite that story.

Fear and excuses are other reasons we hold on to limiting beliefs. It’s a lot easier to think “I could never do that” than it is to start something and fail. But if you never start, you also never have the chance to succeed.

How to overcome limiting beliefs

The main idea of overcoming limiting beliefs involves recognizing that although a younger you formed these beliefs in order to protect you, they are no longer functioning that way and are instead hurting you and holding you back. Here are two exercises to practice:

1. What I believe vs what I want to believe exercise

In a journal or on two pieces of paper, write on the first page a list of your limiting beliefs. Then on the second page, write a list directly correlating those bad beliefs with what you want to believe instead.

Example: “I need to be different than I am for others to like me”

Becomes: “I am worthy of love and friendship right now”

Example: “I can’t lose weight”

Becomes: “I have the power to be healthier and feel at home in my body”

If you like, now you can create “I am” affirmations from the list of things you want to believe and put them somewhere you’ll see them and be reminded of them regularly- the fridge, the bathroom mirror, a vision board, etc.

2. Inner child healing

Healing your inner child can be a long and complex journey, but it’s one of the best ways to get to the root of those limiting beliefs. A therapist can help you with this work, but one simple exercise I like is writing a letter to my past self. In the letter, you can reassure your past self that they are safe; that you are sorry for how they were treated in the past but that present-you is here to heal and find better ways of coping.

There are also plenty of helpful books you can read or podcasts you can listen to on this kind of healing, but remember that this journey is incredibly individual and you’re only going to see results if you spend time with your inner self.

3. Practicing positive affirmations to replace limiting beliefs

Positive affirmations are statements that affirm good things you believe or want to believe about yourself- making them the perfect replacement for limiting beliefs. I have a whole post on them here!

I hope these tips on breaking down limiting beliefs were helpful to you! Let me know in the comments.  

I use essential oils almost daily in my house, especially in diffuser blends. Whether it’s easing a headache, calming/focusing your mind, or setting the mood in your home, a few drops of essential oils in a diffuser will do it. It's also so much better for the air quality in your home than candles are!

The months of September through November are so cozy. I love when the nights start to get cold and I can pull out the chunky knit blankets and fuzzy sweaters. Here’s a quick list of essential oils that will remind you of rainy days, pumpkins, and the earthy smell of decaying leaves.

Autumn Essential Oils:

• Bergamont
• Black Pepper
• Cedarwood
• Cinnamon
• Clary Sage
• Clove
• Coffee
• Fir needle
• Frankincense
• Ginger
• Lavender
• Nutmeg
• Oakmoss
• Orange
• Palo Santo
• Patchouli
• Pine
• Rosemary
• Vetiver

Sweet versus Spice...

When blending essential oils, keep in mind that spice oils (black pepper, cinnamon, clove, etc) are usually quite strong, so you will get the best results from mixing spice oils with citrusy/sweet oils. I like to do 7-10 drops total. Here are some of my favorite combinations!

Apple Cider: 3 drops orange, 2 drops ginger, 2 drops cinnamon, 1 drop clove

Fall Leaves: 3 bergamot, 2 clary sage, 2 lavender, 1 fir needle, 1 oakmoss

Crisp Morning: 3 cedarwood, 2 frankincense, 2 orange, 2 rosemary

Pumpkin: 4 cedarwood, 3 cinnamon, 2 orange, 1 clove

Bonfire: 2 palo santo, 2 pine, 2 cedarwood, 1 clary sage, 1 vetiver

Do you have a favorite autumn blend? Let me know in the comments!

Your mind is foggy, you’re unproductive, you’re stressed, you’re depressed. You feel like you’ve lost sight of yourself. Sound familiar? Yeah, me too. Whether it’s a bad day or a bad month, feeling out of control of your life can be really overwhelming- but I'm starting to realize that it doesn't have to be the reality. I’ve put together two lists of things that help me when I’m struggling. The first has some quick tips and solutions when you just need to clear your mind and feel refreshed on a bad day, while the second promotes healthy long-term habits that can help you feel better more often. ‌‌

Quick things you can do to reset your mindset on a bad day:

1. Take a shower or brush your teeth

This one is huge for me. If I’m having a bad day, my depression loooves to just sit in bed in dirty clothes and greasy hair for two days. A shower, especially a cool one, is a great way to wake up your senses and feel clean and in control again. But on the days when even that might feel like hard work, I’ve found that brushing my teeth can be the first simple, easy step I can take to start feeling better. ‌‌

2. Get some fresh air

Whether this is getting out into nature, taking a quick walk around the block, or just cracking a window, breathing some fresh air will work wonders toward refreshing your body and mind. ‌‌

3. Journal or meditate

I often find it helpful to write it all down. Write about what you’re feeling - or not feeling. Write about that brain fog, that hard thing you are going through, that numbness. Get it all out so there’s room inside you again to think, to take the next necessary step. Meditating is also a great practice to clear and calm your mind! ‌‌

4. Clear your energy

Burning or smudging with Palo Santo is my go-to when I want to clear the energy in a space- the smoke has an uplifting and fresh scent that is known for relieving stress and restoring tranquility. Sometimes simply the act of smudging can be helpful, especially if you’re being mindful about using it as a cleansing/renewing ritual. ‌‌

5. Go somewhere new

Take yourself on a date. Get out of the house, away from your normal day-to-day life to fill your senses with something new. I like to go to bookstores or crystal shops, or check out new coffee shops. You could also meet up with a friend - sometimes you need an outside opinion on life or just a conversation to take your mind off things. ‌‌

6. Clean or rearrange

Is your desk space a mess? Have the dishes been sitting in the sink for a week? Do your bed sheets smell like the soup you spilled in them a month ago? Choose something to clean that will improve your lifestyle. Putting some music on and taking a few minutes to clean often does wonders for my headspace. Rearranging your space and making it look different can also be helpful to reset your mind. You might find something that inspires you!‌‌

7. Diffuse essential oils

There are so many essential oils out there that help with calming, relieving tension and reducing stress. My favorites are lavender, eucalyptus, lemon, and peppermint. ‌‌

8. Practice movement

This could be a walk or hike, going to the gym, or simply doing some yoga in your living room or next to your desk. When I’m feeling down, this is often the most difficult thing to get myself to do, but it’s the one that often helps the most. Yoga is my favorite on this list because it is the most mindful and I can combine it with meditation to spend some time focusing on my breathing and notice where I’m feeling things in my body. ‌‌

9. Drink lemon water or a cup of tea

Chances are, you’re probably dehydrated. Lemon water is great to drink right away in the morning as it is rejuvenating and aids in digestion. Tea- green tea specifically- is loaded with antioxidants that can help boost brain function and clear that fog. Not to mention a little caffeine may be the pick-me-up you are looking for. Try to stay away from coffee, especially if you’re dehydrated!‌‌

10. Do a social media unfollow spree

Social media can be so draining- especially if your feed is full of people and accounts you don’t really care about or connect with. If it’s been a while since you’ve weeded through the list of people you follow, it might be time. Only keep what’s serving you, what brings you joy. ‌‌

Long-term practices to reset your mindset:

1. Set and track your goals

If you feel directionless, take some time to think about your goals and where you want to be in life.  Practice things like visualization and keeping a habit tracker.

2. Find a new routine

Maybe it’s your old routine that’s draining you- or maybe your routine has been disrupted entirely. Figure out a new routine that allows for more time for what you need, including those goals you set! ‌‌

3. Spend less time on social media

Like I said, social media can suck your brain away. Set time limits on your phone, or maybe delete an app for a week to help you reset! I guarantee you this one will make you feel better. ‌‌

4. Do a juice cleanse or start eating better

If you’re feeling gross in your body, a juice cleanse is the ideal way to restart! …Buuuut they aren’t for everyone. If I go even one meal without real food I am likely to start burning bridges with loved ones- I cannot imagine surviving a full 3 day cleanse. If you're like me, try cutting some things out of your diet that leave you feeling heavy and adding healthier, happier foods instead. I like to live by the 80/20 rule: 80% food that’s healthy that I like, 20% food that’s maybe not as healthy but that I love. ‌‌

5. Read a self-help book

There are so many personal growth and development books out there to help you become the person you want to be! I’ll be doing a blog post soon with a list of my recommendations, which I will link here. ‌‌

Remember to give yourself grace. ‌‌

You are going to have messy phases and transition periods in your life, you are going to have hard days- today you might just need to be kind to yourself and make it through so that you can start fresh tomorrow. That’s okay. ‌‌‌‌

Visualization is a fun practice to help you think about your dreams and goals and to bring your mindset to a place where you are ready to achieve those goals. If you want something, visualize yourself already having it. I’ve found this practice to be a helpful way to find the path toward positive thinking and success, and I’m here to tell you how it will work for you!

How does visualization work?

When you have a goal ingrained in your mind, you will naturally make decisions that move you toward that goal. When you acknowledge and make space for your desires, you will be more likely to prioritize them.

Visualization works by focusing on your dreams and thinking about them as though they are already your reality in order to align yourself with them and to become the person who can and will accomplish them.

Athletes often use visualization techniques to get into the right mindset before a game or tournament. They imagine how their body will move to kick the ball or get the hole in one. They focus on how it will feel to finish the marathon in order to help get them through the pain and exhaustion of running the marathon. A big part of success is getting past the mental blocks, and visualization is one way to do that- whether you're an athlete or not.

Three ways to practice visualization

1. Imagine your ideal future

Go for a relaxing walk through nature, lay down in bed or on a yoga mat, or simply sit somewhere quiet. Practicing meditation first to calm your thoughts and get you in the right mindset may be helpful before this exercise!
Now imagine yourself at a point in the future where you have the things you want and think about your dream day:

• Where do you live? This can be a certain city or country, or simply something like “by the beach”.
• What does your home look like? Is it an apartment, a house, a van? Are you traveling?
• What do you have for breakfast?
• What are you doing for work? How much money do you have?
• What is your schedule and lifestyle like? What are you doing in your free time?
• What clothes are you wearing?
• Who are you spending your time with, surrounding yourself with?
• How healthy do you feel? Are you exercising a certain way, eating a certain diet?
• Where are you mentally? Have you overcome something you’ve previously struggled with? What positive things do you believe about yourself?
• What goals have you achieved at this point in your life? What new goals are you working towards?

When you imagine these things, think about them in the present tense, as though you are already there. Don’t let your current reality or limiting beliefs get in your way. Don’t restrict yourself by thinking “well that dream is too big”, or “I could never make it there”. This dream space is all yours, and in it everything is possible and attainable.

2. Write down your goals

Now that you have your goals clearly visualized, grab a pen and paper and write them down! At this point, only write down your outcomes. The steps you will take to achieve these goals are important and you’ll want to think about them at some point, but right now you are focusing completely on your end goals.

How you outline your goals is completely personal to you. Some people like to set long-term goals, like five to ten years in the future. Personally, I feel as though my long-term dreams can be ambiguous and ever-evolving, so I try to make specific short-term goals (within a year or less) that point me in the direction of those long-term dreams.

3. Create a vision board

This is a perfect way to keep your goals at the forefront of your mind on a daily basis and to help them feel real if you are someone like me who needs something tangible to focus on.

Make a collection of pictures, quotes, or other specific items that embody and remind you of your goals. Choose images that give you the feeling of having already achieved those goals, or that powerfully inspire you to do so. Pinterest is my favorite place to do this and is the perfect place to start! You can create a board for each of your goals, then go through and pick out a few of your favorites to print off. With your images cut out or quotes written down, pin everything on a cork board or tape them to the wall somewhere you’ll see them, like above your desk or on the bathroom mirror.

Some items may even be helpful or symbolic to carry with you. Actor Jim Carrey wrote himself a $10,000,000  check early in his career and carried it in his wallet- he wanted to be successful enough to cash the check one day.

Look at your vision board each day and think about how you can move towards aligning yourself with your vision. What decision can you make today that honors your ideal future self?

Change takes time

It is important to remember that as human beings we are constantly changing, evolving, and growing. The dreams you have right now may not be the same a year or two from now (or even a month from now), and that is okay! Like the seasons, we do not stay the same. The paths our lives take are almost never linear. Learn to trust yourself and listen to what your intuition is telling you - let it guide you and shift you in different directions.

If you feel like life is throwing things at you left and right that don’t align with your goals, it may be time to do these exercises again and re-evaluate what it is you want and think about where you may be going wrong. Have you been letting self-doubt sabotage your journey? Are there some hard things you’ve been refusing to do that have kept you from being where you want to be? Or are these unexpected changes in life perhaps providing opportunities for new kinds of growth?

It might be time to set new goals and create a new vision board. Or perhaps it’s simply time to have patience and kindness towards yourself- those big goals you made may take a while to reach, but right now, you are exactly where you need to be. Practice gratitude for the things you already have and reflect on what you’ve already accomplished.

I am always looking for creative writing inspiration, and I think one of my favorite types of prompts I’ve come across is “three things” prompts. The idea is to take three different things- they could be concepts, ideas, words, colors, places, people, even feelings- and combine them into a story.

When I’m coming up with story ideas on my own, I often have a hard time with my ideas running wild and getting a bit messy. Short stories become book ideas and book ideas become trilogy ideas that I never end up finishing because I’m overwhelmed by my plot and lost in my worldbuilding. If you’re anything like me, three things prompts can be incredibly helpful not only for sparking ideas, but also for helping you to stay focused on just a few simple aspects of the story and embellishing on those.

This type of prompt is perfect for writing short stories, which is what I often use them for. Pick one that immediately spurs imagery for you, set a timer for ten to twenty minutes, and start writing without stopping- just getting down whatever organic idea is coming to you! You can always edit later.

Thring Things Prompts

1. A dying fire, hair in braids, a secret
2. Unexpected mail, a rainstorm, a ghost
3. Terracotta, a man with a scar, the sea
4. Barbed wire, a blueberry field, something lost
5. A broken promise, burned hands, a boat
6. Steaming hot springs, a boy, a mistake
7. A sacred place, and old man, a warning
8. Bad directions, a flowering plant, a strange person
9. Sex, a broken teacup, a gem
10. Footsteps, plans, something unpleasant under the bed
11. A garden, friends, a small lie that gets bigger and bigger
12. A memory, an injury, something expensive
13. A taxi, a horoscope, a woman with red lipstick
14. A basket, a late arrival, a recipe with a significant mistake
15. Firewood, a faithful horse, a wound
16. A unique pet, a desert, something that shouldn’t exist
17. Bones, a lighthouse, a lost couple
18. An assassin, a letter that’s not what it seems, being drunk
19. Smoke, a bridge, ancient writing
20. A license plate number, a job done badly, choking
21. Risky business, a lake, a yellow rain jacket
22. Adrenaline pumping through the veins, a coin, wind
23. The smell of leather, a crow, a vivid dream
24. A stolen item, volcanic terrain, a secret
25. A dagger, a whisper, raindrops on tin
26. Broken glass, a tattoo, the color blue
27. A mission, a brothel, a cup of coffee
28. Something moving, a lost letter, a pregnant woman
29. A train stop, blood, curly hair
30. A lie, the color green, something out of place

I'd love to hear if any of these inspired you! Happy writing!