Last month I read the book Atomic Habits, by James Clear. It had been on my reading list for a long time but kept getting pushed back as I added other books and made excuses, but I finally just bought the book, put my others on hold, and decided to read it.

I wish I had done so sooner.

That said, it was such a well-timed read. There comes a point where you finally just get sick of your own shit and decide to start improving your life and chasing after your goals- for real. My life has always felt like one failed new goal after another, but I have found that this book is the roadmap to have with you as you start that journey toward finding real results and creating consistent habits.

There’s SO much good stuff covered in this book. It touches on the psychology of habits, step-by-step methods for breaking and building habits, how to make micro changes to your systems for big end results, procrastination, accountability… But one of the first things that Clear covers and that especially stood out to me is how our habits shape our identity- and vice versa. This post talks about that idea, and how to implement it in your life!

Outcome-based vs Identity-based Habits

In Atomic Habits, Clear tells us there are three layers of behavior change:

  1. Identity
  2. Process
  3. Outcomes

So many of us (myself included) have always tried to change our habits by focusing on what we want to achieve. Our end goal. I want to write a book. I want to be healthier. I want to read more. These are outcome-based habits, and when we approach our goals this way, we are doing it backwards. We are trying to change our processes based on the result we want without changing what we believe about ourselves. We are fighting against who we, even subconsciously, believe we are.

Where we need to begin is with our identity. We need to start by focusing on the person we want to become, and change our process from there. I am a writer, I am working on a book. I am making healthy choices because I am a healthy person. I am someone who reads. You are not the type of person who wants this. You are the type of person who is this.

Clear gives an amazing example in the book that I really loved:

“Imagine two people resisting a cigarette. When offered a smoke, the first person says, “No thanks. I’m trying to quit.” It sounds like a reasonable response, but this person still believes they are a smoker who is trying to be something else. They are hoping their behavior will change while carrying around the same beliefs.
The second person declines saying, “No thanks. I’m not a smoker.” It’s a small difference, but this statement signals a shift in identity. Smoking was a part of their former life, not their current one. They no longer identify as someone who smokes.”

It’s hard to change habits if you don’t first change the underlying beliefs about who you are. Beliefs will drive your actions.

Stop listening to your limiting beliefs

I have a whole post on limiting beliefs which you can find here. In short, limiting beliefs are things like:

  • “I can’t lose weight”
  • “I’m not good at this thing”
  • “I’m always late”
  • “I can’t make money doing what I love”
  • “The things I want aren’t worth trying to pursue, I always fail”

If you believe you will always fail, that you can’t lose weight, that you’re not good at something, you are never going to make a true effort. You will fulfill your own prophecy. You will resist certain actions because you don’t believe that is who you are. If you want to change who you are and accomplish your goals, you’ve got to let these limiting beliefs go.

Have pride in who you are becoming

The more pride you have in yourself in a certain area of life, the more likely you will be to show up and put effort into that area. Motivation only goes so far. It may get you started, but long-term changes are going to come from setting up good habits and taking pride in the person those habits are making you out to be. This is about celebrating small wins and proving to yourself what is possible with each step. Take note of your successes. This is a gradual journey, and often the biggest outcomes are delayed, so don’t forget to find beauty in the process. Take pictures of the healthy meals you make, of the things you create. Find ways to reward yourself when you meet a goal.

You are not going to be perfect all of the time and that shouldn’t be your goal, but change matters, the process is important. Embrace it.

Your identity change is your North Star

Good habits have the power to change what you believe about yourself, and what you believe about yourself has the power to change your habits. The road to becoming the best version of yourself may mean editing and expanding your beliefs about yourself as you go, but keep that image of who you are at the forefront of your mind, and before you know it you’ll start showing up as that person.

I highly recommend the book Atomic Habits to anyone who’s struggled to accomplish goals in the past. It has left me feeling empowered and capable, and I’m sure I’ll be implementing a lot of its other concepts in future posts!